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MCS Minute Masterclass: Punctuating Dialogue #1

2/1/2014

1 Comment

 
Today I'm sharing some really common mistakes I see with punctuation and dialogue in both my critique clients and the writing workshops I teach.

Here's an example from SISTERS' FATE:

INCORRECT

“You’ve decided to come?” She asks. “You look pretty.”

I glare at her. “I do not,” I look like a tall, skinny blond vulture in the Sisters’ uniform. I always do.

“Hush and take the compliment.” She insists, braving a hug. She smells like hot cocoa and the maple candies her mother’s always sending from their farm in Vermont. “Are you all right? You seem . . . pricklier than usual.”

“I’m fine,” I’m not fine. What’s O’Shea cooking up now? Hundreds of Brothers will be at the bazaar. Any of us could make a misstep and be arrested. Things seem so on edge. And beyond that--

“Are you worried Finn will be there?” Rilla cuts right to the heart of it.

CORRECT

“You’ve decided to come?” she asks. “You look pretty.”

I glare at her. “I do not.” I look like a tall, skinny blond vulture in the Sisters’ uniform. I always do.

“Hush and take the compliment,” she insists, braving a hug. She smells like hot cocoa and the maple candies her mother’s always sending from their farm in Vermont. “Are you all right? You seem . . . pricklier than usual.”

“I’m fine.” I’m not fine. What’s O’Shea cooking up now? Hundreds of Brothers will be at the bazaar. Any of us could make a misstep and be arrested. Things seem so on edge. And beyond that--

“Are you worried Finn will be there?” Rilla cuts right to the heart of it.

NOTES
* Before a dialogue tag (she asks, she insists, she says), use a comma (or exclamation or question mark, if appropriate - but NOT a period) to end the quoted sentence, then close the quotation marks. DON'T capitalize the next word.  
* If the following sentence is NOT a dialogue tag, and is a full sentence in its own right, use a period (or question or exclamation mark, but NOT a comma), then close the quotation marks. The next word SHOULD be capitalized. 
* I actually cut most of my dialogue tags (she says, she snaps, she hisses, etc) in revision in order to layer in description. Check out this post for examples!

1 Comment
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