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MCS Minute Masterclass #2: Dialogue Tags

11/29/2013

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Welcome to the second MCS Minute Masterclass, where we feature a quick writing tip to help you improve your writing in just 60 seconds!

Today our topic is dialogue tags.

Consider the differences between:

“I’m protecting you," I insist.

“No, you’re smothering us,” Maura argues. 

“Do you think I enjoy it?” I demand. “I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m trying to keep you from ending up like Brenna Elliott!”

“Brenna Elliott was a fool,” Maura sighs. 

“Was she? Or was she just careless? They ruined her either way,” I explain.

 “She was odd before," Maura says. 

“Odd or not, she didn’t deserve what was done to her in that place,” I snap.

and this:


I reel back, stung, and almost knock into the globe. I steady it on the pedestal with both hands. “I’m protecting you.”

“No, you’re smothering us.”

“Do you think I enjoy it?” I demand, throwing up my hands. “I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m trying to keep you from ending up like Brenna Elliott!”

Maura sinks onto her window seat, her hair as red as the maples lining the drive. “Brenna Elliott was a fool.”

It isn’t that simple, and Maura knows it. “Was she? Or was she just careless? They ruined her either way.”

Maura raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “She was odd before.”

“Odd or not, she didn’t deserve what was done to her in that place,” I snap.


​- from BORN WICKED, p. 18-19

My early drafts look like the first example. The dialogue tags identify who's speaking, but they don't give the reader any clues as to how the character looks or feels, or the scene around them. The rhythm is monotonous, with a dialogue tag ("she says," etc) at the end of each line. In revision, I cut most dialogue tags and layer in description. What's the character's expression? Her body language? How is she interacting with her setting? Answering these questions creates a more vivid scene.
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Holiday Sale - 20% Off

11/26/2013

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Want to know what we're thankful for this year? Our new business and the chance to work with amazing writers like you! 

So we're offering a 20% off sale -- now through Wednesday, December 11 -- on all our services except full manuscripts.

If you've been thinking about trying us out, now's the perfect time. For the next two weeks, our prices are as follows: 

Query Critique: $16 (save $4) 
1st 10 Pages: $24 (save $6)
Agent Submission Package: $40 (save $10)
Partial (1st 50 pages): $80 (save $20)

Why would you need a crit service? Here are a few examples:

Getting rejections on your queries? We can help you pinpoint the problem. We'll look at your first 10 or 50 pages and tell you where an agent might stop reading and why. 

Are you stuck? Worried that your plot is a little confusing, your character's motivation is unclear, or the rules of your world don't quite make sense? Trust us, we've been there. When you've been working on a manuscript for months or even years, it can be hard to see it with fresh eyes and know what's working. Let us help you move forward in your writing journey. 

Have you finished your NaNoWriMo novel? Don't send it to an agent yet! You only get one chance to make a first impression. Send it to us. We can help you make sure you're sending out your best possible work. 

If any of these apply to you, you can check out testimonials here and read our submission guidelines here.

And to all of you in the US, Happy Thanksgiving! 



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MCS Minute Masterclass: Farther vs Further

11/22/2013

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Today we're kicking off our new weekly blog series, MCS Minute Masterclass. Each week we'll feature a quick tip to help you improve your writing in just 60 seconds! Today we discuss 'farther' vs 'further'.

FARTHER VS FURTHER

Farther = Physical distance
Further = Figurative distance

In ambiguous cases, where you could be talking about either physical or figurative distance, plump for 'further'. 

Examples

We walk a little farther down the street, and I get a few puzzled looks when people recognize me. But then they shake their
heads, thinking they must be crazy—why would the Emissary’s daughter be in their neck of the woods?
- Black City, page 63

She doesn’t have to explain that any further. When Darklings mate, they often bite each other and blood share. Evangeline will never be able to do that; not with a Darkling, anyway.
- Black City, page 219

“I wanted you to kiss me, I wanted us to take things a step further, and I admit I got carried away, but I didn’t want that.
You know how my father died, you must know how much being bitten scares me,” I say.
- Black City, page 246 

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