Happy Friday! Whoops, it's Saturday, isn't it? Such is the life of a writer, to always be a little behind (and to split the occasional infinitive!) Plus yesterday was an epic day in Portland and sometimes you have to embrace those epic days when you get them. 

This month's MM is about less being more. I am calling this post Volume One, because there is so much to say when it comes to less is more that I would turn this into a Twenty-Minute Masterclass if I said it all here. Plus, I am betting my colleagues have their own opinions about less being more, and I want to leave it open for them to expound on this idea.

Have you ever been to a play? You know how the actors project their voices and make big arm flourishes and dramatic gestures? Imagine if you took all that and put it in a TV show. That would be kind of campy and ridiculous, right? TV actors have to be much more subtle because the camera (and therefore the audience) is often only a foot away from them.

When you write, especially when you write in first person POV, think of the audience as being very close. What that means is that screaming and shouting and stamping of feet, etc., is all amplified. The same goes for exclamation points and emphasized italics. Too much of this reads like an email written in all caps, so you want to use these things in moderation. And in most cases, you don’t need to layer them on top of each other.

Consider the following example:

      “I can ruin you, you know that?!” Kendall shouts at Micah. “I can make sure that no one ever speaks to you!” Her face contorts into a snarl.
      “Stop it, Kendall! That’s enough!”  I holler. I give her wrist another vicious yank. “Quit being a bitch!”
       She looks at me in surprise, rubbing her wrist where I grabbed her. “No! It’s not enough!" she screams. "No friend of mine is—”
      Of course! Once again Kendall is making my problems all about her! “This has nothing to do with you!” I shriek. This time she finally lets me drag her away.
      “What has gotten into you!?” she hisses. “Did you really just call me a bitch? I was defending you since you seem incapable of doing it yourself.”

This is part of a climax scene, and it’s supposed to be full of emotion. But can you see how all of the shouting, snarling, shrieking, italics, and exclamation points make it feel over the top? Maybe you didn't mind, but can you imagine a whole book written like that? Some writers tend to do this so readers will definitely understand all the strong feelings that are present. But reading page after page of this gets exhausting, and it just serves to lessen the emotional impact of each additional snarl or shout. Instead, trust your reader. Think TV show, not stage play. If you are doing a good job of showing, you won’t need excessive formatting and dialogue tags.  

Here’s the version that actually made it into the story.

     “I can ruin you, you know that?” Kendall shouts at Micah. “I can make sure that no one ever speaks to you.”
     “Stop it, Kendall. That’s enough!” I give her wrist another vicious yank. “Quit being a bitch.”
     She looks at me in surprise, rubbing her wrist where I grabbed her. “No. It’s not enough. No friend of mine is—”
     Of course. Once again Kendall is making my problems all about her. “This has nothing to do with you,” I say. This time she finally lets me drag her away.
     “What has gotten into you?” she asks. “Did you really just call me a bitch? I was defending you since you seem incapable of doing it yourself.”
                                                                         --from The Art of Lainey by Paula Stokes

Did I lose any emotional impact in Version 2? What do you think?

Hi! Paula here. Welcome to the latest Minute Masterclass. We've been doing this series for a few months, and now seems like a great time to emphasize that the things we're sharing with you are just guidelines. Maybe you’re a person who follows a hundred publishing blogs and obeys every single "rule" of querying and writing that you read. And yet you don’t get full-requests. But then your friend comes along, writes one letter or manuscript that breaks all the rules, and has agents fighting over her. What gives?

I used to be Suzie Rule Follower, so if you’re in the above situation, I feel your pain. Here’s the thing, though. When someone says “adverbs are lazy” or “show, don’t tell” they mean “For the most part, adverbs are lazy” and “For the most part, show don’t tell.” You can add this “for the most part” to pretty much every writing “rule” you have ever heard. Even the “laws” of grammar are flexible in certain instances.

But then how do you know when it’s okay to break the “rules?” Essentially, it’s okay to do anything you want, as long as you do it well. Not helpful? What about this: If you are using adverbs, telling, passive voice etc. you need to know why you are doing it. And that reason cannot be “because it’s easier.”

When I turned in my first draft of the Venom proposal, the immediate feedback from my editors was something like: “This is pretty writing, but Cassandra is reading like a lens painting across Venice without any internal thoughts or feelings. We need to know what’s going on inside her head.” Can you guys guess why I hadn’t included Cass’s thoughts or feelings? Because to me, this was “telling” and it had been drilled into me from a hundred publishing blogs and books that telling was bad.

Open up your favorite bestseller. Mark the telling. Mark the adverbs. Mark the passive voice. Mark anything else you’ve been instructed not to do. Chances are, you didn’t even notice these “violations” while you were reading because the author utilized them to strengthen the story, not as writing crutches.

No one wants you to write a book without telling. No one wants you to write a book without adverbs. Don’t let fear of breaking the rules keep you from writing the very best book that you can. Happy weekend :)

Hello and Happy Friday! Tara here. 

The V-word. We hear it a lot, right? Everyone's looking for that manuscript with a "great voice". If that voice is just right, agents and editors might be willing to overlook some plot or writing issues. If the voice isn't right, they won't get past the first page. Yeah, yeah. We know. Voice is important. 

But how do we find it? 

When they say voice can't be taught, they aren't lying. Your writing voice is something that can only come from you, and it will change throughout your life. So, I can't tell you how to develop a killer voice in a minute. But I can give you a couple ideas on where to start. 

1. Pick your favorite character from a book and write a scene introducing them. Do not use the original author's descriptions or words. Use your own. 

• Who are they and what do they want most in life?
  
• How do they talk? 
  
• What kind of music do they listen to? 
  
• What do they fear the most? 

You'll probably notice that this character, despite being someone else's creation, now sounds like a different character entirely. This is YOUR voice. 

2. Repeat the process above with your own character, always keeping in mind who your character is and what they want at their core. Who knows... You may have just end up writing the opening scene to your next book. 

Until next time!

It's Friday, which means it's time for our weekly minute masterclass! Today we discuss crutch words.

When editing your manuscript, keep an eye out for crutch words. These are words that an author leans on and will use repeatedly throughout their manuscript, often several times on each page and in close proximity to each other. Common crutch words are: looked, glanced, dragged, pulled, grabbed, eyes, smiled, sighed. This also applies to phrases as well, for example 'rolled his eyes' and 'raised his eyebrow', or variants thereof. 

It'll become apparent as you read through your manuscript what your crutch words are, but if in doubt, a handy tool is Wordle.net. Simply copy and paste your MS into the application and it'll generate a pretty word cloud, giving you an excellent visual representation of which words you overuse. Once you've identified your crutch words, delete as many as possible.  

Welcome to our weekly MCS Minute Masterclass. Today we're looking at blending description with action.

Description is important because it sets your scene and helps transport the reader to your book's universe. When writing description, it's usually best to incorporate it into the flow of the story instead of halting the action for a paragraph like: She stumbled across [a thing.] The thing was [description.] It had [description] and wore [description.]

Consider the difference between:

"I see the edge of the cliff. Below me is the river, and jagged rocks. The night air is crisp. As I jump, I think about whether things might have been different if I had just told the truth from the beginning."

and

"My left foot lands at the edge of the cliff. I push off with all my might, rocketing my body out toward the middle of the river, far away from the jagged rocks below. As I plummet through the crisp night air, I think about whether things might have been different if I had just told the truth from the beginning." --Paula Stokes, Liars, Inc., (HarperTeen, 2015)

In a way, it all goes back to showing and not telling. Instead of playing tour guide, let readers experience your world on their own as they move through it . Happy writing!

Welcome to the second MCS Minute Masterclass, where we feature a quick writing tip to help you improve your writing in just 60 seconds!

Today our topic is dialogue tags.

Consider the differences between:

“I’m protecting you," I insist.

“No, you’re smothering us,” Maura argues. 

“Do you think I enjoy it?” I demand. “I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m trying to keep you from ending up like Brenna Elliott!”

“Brenna Elliott was a fool,” Maura sighs. 

“Was she? Or was she just careless? They ruined her either way,” I explain.

 “She was odd before," Maura says. 

“Odd or not, she didn’t deserve what was done to her in that place,” I snap.

and this:


I reel back, stung, and almost knock into the globe. I steady it on the pedestal with both hands. “I’m protecting you.”

“No, you’re smothering us.”

“Do you think I enjoy it?” I demand, throwing up my hands. “I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m trying to keep you from ending up like Brenna Elliott!”

Maura sinks onto her window seat, her hair as red as the maples lining the drive. “Brenna Elliott was a fool.”

It isn’t that simple, and Maura knows it. “Was she? Or was she just careless? They ruined her either way.”

Maura raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “She was odd before.”

“Odd or not, she didn’t deserve what was done to her in that place,” I snap.


​- from BORN WICKED, p. 18-19

My early drafts look like the first example. The dialogue tags identify who's speaking, but they don't give the reader any clues as to how the character looks or feels, or the scene around them. The rhythm is monotonous, with a dialogue tag ("she says," etc) at the end of each line. In revision, I cut most dialogue tags and layer in description. What's the character's expression? Her body language? How is she interacting with her setting? Answering these questions creates a more vivid scene.

Today we're kicking off our new weekly blog series, MCS Minute Masterclass. Each week we'll feature a quick tip to help you improve your writing in just 60 seconds! Today we discuss 'farther' vs 'further'.

Farther = Physical distance
Further = Figurative distance

In ambiguous cases, where you could be talking about either physical or figurative distance, plump for 'further'. 

We walk a little farther down the street, and I get a few puzzled looks when people recognize me. But then they shake their
heads, thinking they must be crazy—why would the Emissary’s daughter be in their neck of the woods?
- Black City, page 63

She doesn’t have to explain that any further. When Darklings mate, they often bite each other and blood share. Evangeline will never be able to do that; not with a Darkling, anyway.
- Black City, page 219

“I wanted you to kiss me, I wanted us to take things a step further, and I admit I got carried away, but I didn’t want that.
You know how my father died, you must know how much being bitten scares me,” I say.
- Black City, page 246 

Our favorite time of year is almost upon us! 'Tis the season of pumpkin pies, turkeys, and best of all NaNoWriMo! This year, the MCS editors have dared each other to take on the 50,000 word challenge, so we thought we'd share our top writing and editing tips to help you along with your own NaNo projects.  So get your laptops ready and fat-pants on (hey, we plan on eating a LOT of candy this month) and lets get ready to NaNo!

PAULA: "Start with an outline. It doesn't need to be detailed and you don't have to follow it if you don't want to, but it's nice to have a map when you suddenly find yourself lost."

JESS: "Turn off your internet. If you're stuck for the next word, sentence, or plot point, checking Twitter is not going to help you. If you find yourself engaging in the endless Twitter/Facebook/email loop of doom, try one of the apps that will turn off the internet for you.  I use Mac Freedom." 

TARA: "If you have trouble connecting with a character, try getting into their head by playing songs they'd listen to or by having them answer fun, social-media style surveys. "

ELIZABETH: "If you're stuck on a scene, move on to the next one; you can always come back to it later. The Writing Police won't turn up at your door if you don't write your book in order. I'm forever writing scenes out of sequence, as it prevents boredom and gives me some breathing space to work out why the other scene isn't working."

PAULA: "Send your inner editor on vacation. When you're producing words at a rate of 1700 a day, they're not all going to be great. That's totally okay. Like I heard author April Henry say once: "You can edit crap. You can't edit nothing."

JESS: "If you're having trouble killing off your inner perfectionist - a must for drafting - try word sprinting with friends. See how much you can write in 30 minutes (or 45, or an hour) and then check in on Twitter to report your word count. Or if sprinting against others doesn't work, try Write or Die. If you stop typing for too long, this program will punish you with a reminder, a loud noise, or--in Kamikaze mode, which I find quite motivational!--by deleting your words!"

TARA: "Change your scenery. When you are stuck on a scene, go outside, to your favorite cafe/public hangout, or simply change rooms." 

ELIZABETH: "Don't know how to start your novel? Don't waste time trying to come up with that killer opening as you'll be staring at your screen for days. Simply skip over your intro paragraph and start with paragraph two or three. Psychologically, it  takes the pressure off trying to come up with that perfect opening and lets you get on with writing the story. You can come back to your opening paragraph(s) later, once you've settled into the flow of things."

We hope you found our tips helpful! Best of luck with your NaNo projects--do tweet us at @MS_Critiques to let us know how you're getting on! And while you're busy typing away on your NaNo project, now is the perfect time to get feedback on your other WIPs, so why not send them to us for a professional, affordable critique? We offer a range of services from 10-pages critiques to full line edits, all at reasonable prices!  Check out our Services and Rates page for more information.